Short Stint in Ontario And One More Year In Quebec...

Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: 
for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; 
he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.
Deuteronomy 31:6

In 1991 my dad became sick and had to give up working as Superintendent for the buildings where we were living. The doctors had found spots of cancer in his hip and so growing concerns about his health ensued. He had surgery, though we almost lost him, but things started to improve. My brother and his wife by now were living in Alexandria Ontario and so the decision was made that my folks would move to Ontario. I decided to go with them. 

My brother found a little place in the small village of Lancaster Ontario, not too far from the Ontario/Quebec border. It was a very nice, two bedroom apartment, that was set above a Tea Room. It was hard at first living in a small village; everything and everybody went to bed at 8pm. But all too soon we got use to it and settled in very nicely.

The people of the village were very nice folks and very friendly, something we were not use to after living in the city. We maintained our friends in Montreal and we also traveled back and forth on Sunday's to go to church. Overall; life was good and things were going along smoothly...until...

My mum was scheduled to have a colonoscopy. The day before she was to start the cleansing process, she had confided in me that she was passing blood whenever she went to the washroom. The next morning, I woke up very early with this feeling that I should tell my mum to not go through with the cleansing process. So I got up, went to the washroom, and then went into my mum's bedroom to wake her and tell her what I felt. Thankfully she listened to me. I went back to bed but this was not the end.

We got up around ten am, we had breakfast, and then my mum went off to the washroom. My dad had just went outside for his morning walk and to get his morning paper when all hell broke loose. My mum had just stepped out of the bathroom when she collapsed to the floor. I yelled for my dad and he came back up the stairs and we managed to get mum into her bed and then I called 911. My mum had lost a fair amount of blood and things weren't looking very good.

The ambulance came, I called my siblings, my dad went with my mum in the ambulance, and I followed with the car. I remember praying and asking God not to take my mum. There are big age gaps between my siblings and I and so I reasoned that they had had mum for more years than I. I was not ready to let my mum go. Interestingly; after I was born my mum use to pray and ask God to let her live long enough to see me become a young adult and able to take care of my self. Well I may have been a young adult and able to take care of myself but, I was nowhere near ready to let my mum go.

We arrived at the hospital and soon my siblings were all there. They got my mum stable but she wasn't out of the woods. Her blood levels had dropped so low the doctors were amazed that she was still living. I, along with my nephew, went to the cafeteria to get a drink and a snack. Just as we were approaching the vending machine, the ER called a code blue. In my heart of hearts I just knew this was for my mum, but I kept calm for the sake of my young nephew, and continued to get him his drink. 

We got back to the room and sure enough the code blue was for my mum but they had gotten the situation under control. But we were still not out of the woods. By the end of the day they would move my mum up to ICU and she would have her third round of blood. They had told us that evening that the next 48 hours would determine if she would make it or not. That night as I lay in bed again I prayed, and prayed that God would not take my mama home. I begged with Him that if He would just let her live I would do my best to do better in living for Him. Well; all praise and glory to God, He brought my mama through and she got better. She spent a couple of weeks in the hospital, but she was on the mend and soon she was back home. God is good and I did try to live up to the promise I made.

Shortly after this I decided to move back into Montreal. I really hadn't felt that my time in Montreal was finished. I still felt that God wanted me back in Montreal, so one of the lady's from the church asked if I wanted to share an apartment with her and so I did.

After a few months living back in Montreal I met a young man from our apartment building and we started seeing each other. He wasn't a Christian and I like this for two reasons; one, it meant that we could really only be friends and two, the church folks couldn't rush us to the altar. It was fun getting to know Randy as a friend and it wasn't long when he started coming to church. 

One Sunday Randy had had a rough day. When he showed up at the apartment just as we were getting ready for church, he was drunk and high. We invited him in and with some encouragement, he agreed to come with us to church. That night God got a hold of Randy's life and when the altar call was given he went up and gave his life to the Lord. What really surprised him...when he walked back to his pew, he was completely sober. He KNEW God had done something exceptional in his life. 

I moved out of the apartment I was sharing and got my own place. As the months progressed Randy and I got more serious and became engaged. Life was looking up, or so I thought. Randy was changing and soon he was becoming more and more controlling. Styles of clothing that I liked, the old fashion styles, he didn't want me to wear. Certain decor of my own apartment that I liked, he didn't like. I remember one day after working, walking into my apartment and as I looked around it just hit me, none of it was me, my personality, it was all Randy and his personality. I could not take it anymore, the questioning if someone talked to me. If I was five minutes later getting home, I would be questioned. I decided it was time we needed to talk. Funny he was almost relieved and so...agreeable. We parted and for a short time remained friends.

I had some things in his apartment and one afternoon went over to get them. When I got there, there was no one home. I still had a key to his place so I let myself in. I was shocked by what I found, in his anger he had caused some damage to his apartment. I got what was mine and I left. It was frightening to see so much rage and what it can do. But the worst I think was when I found out that while Randy was engaged to me, he was seeing my good friend. 

My emotional being was hurt yet again. I felt like a total failure. I began to feel that maybe there was something wrong with me. Why couldn't I find someone to love me simply for me? Why did I seem to attract the ones who wanted to control? I never saw this behavior at home. My dad always respected my mum. But the rejection just added to the brokenness inside. I wanted to give up but I continued to press on. 

My rent was coming up for renewal but I decided that it was time to move on. And so by this time my parents had moved into Alexandria Ontario. They offered my a place with them so I made the move. I come.

Because he lives
I can face tomorrow
Because he lives
All fear is gone
Because i know he holds the future
And life is worth the living
Just because he lives   


  1. How God leads us through the valleys. That is one of my favorite songs, Paula. My children sung it when they were small at a conference. I can still here them singing it. Love the promise of the words.


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